Meal Planning

If I want to survive the week without eating out multiple times, I have to have a meal plan. Typically I take time Friday night to print out a blank weekly meal plan and sit down with the calendar (to check for activities), the daycare menu (to note which days I have to send substitutes for egg items), and the grocery list. Oh, and usually a few recipe print outs or a cookbook.

I used to check the grocery store ads, but I found I usually wasn't inspired by it and it just took space and added to my already large pile of organizing materials. Obviously budget is not my number one concern for better or worse. I've found that I would rather buy what I want at the store than try to be cheap. Obviously other people might have different priorities.

I also have a large family calendar where I track what meals are successful each month (this means really tasty and/or Bit ate it well). That's a valuable resource when I'm blank for inspiration. Let's Dish also makes this process easier, giving me a stock of frozen made-ahead meals. Once a week I aim to use the crockpot, on the day I go to Weight Watchers in the evening, so that dinner is ready once we're all home. I just started tracking our favorite recipes on CookbookTree, so in a little while I'll have a cookbook customized to my family!

I'd like to get better at including fruits and vegetables and having healthy snacks on hand. Also I want to keep better track of my pantry and keep it stocked for "emergencies." I'll be looking for hacks, tips, and tools for these goals in the new year.

We made a Christmas!

That was the quote of the year. We had such a good time despite the fact that all 3 of us were clearly incubating colds all week. I didn't crash until Saturday night (with my cold/cough) and at last check the other two are still functioning at nearly full capacity.

Bit left her pacifiers for Santa on Christmas Eve and he left a plush Nemo as her "big girl" (no more paci's) gift. The big gift from the Man was a play kitchen, set up in a recently cleared nook of our dining room. Bit loves it! Especially the cordless phone that didn't leave her side all throughout breakfast. We had crockpot oatmeal.

Then we had stockings and opened a few presents before the grandparents started to arrive. The Princess graham crackers (Teddy Grams) were a big hit, as well as the snack pouch. Papaw arrived first, then Granny Mary, then GranB. We opened lots of presents, including a new wardrobe from Granny Mary, Disney movies and an Ariel doll from GranB/Papaw.

Lunch was good: beef roulade, mashed potatoes/cauliflower, mixed veggies, and cranberry crumble (though Papaw missed that since he had other plans). Nap was refused, but we had fun hanging out the rest of the day with the grandmas. And bedtime without a paci went off without a hitch!

I usually experience a post-holiday let-down, a feeling of depression that things are over and "now what?" Maybe we've been too busy for that feeling to set in...the day after Christmas was spent at my mom's, then on Saturday we traveled several hours to visit with other family members. But I think I won't have the post-holiday depression this year for a simple reason: I got what I wanted, not alot of junk, not an excess that left behind an undefined emptiness, I had a truly fulfilling Christmas with my family. I can't think of a better Christmas...and I'm truly deeply grateful.

What's left

I have more left to do than I realized, but I'm trying not to stress...although we made the mistake of scheduling our new roof right before Christmas and we are getting rain every 3-4 days, so the date has been pushed back. They dropped off the materials on Weds., but the work got postponed from today, so we'll probably end up with the pallet of shingles in front of our house all through Christmas. Sigh.

Today I'm running a bunch of errands: haircut, last minute shopping and getting drinks for Saturday, returning mis-sized jeans, picking up another brochure for the photo scanning I want to do in 09.

Saturday is brunch with my grandma and family, then our friends coming to visit in the afternoon. Sunday we get our portraits taken and I can get the last of the gifts wrapped.

After that it's just 2 days till Christmas Eve! I need to figure out exactly what I'm cooking for the holidays and put it on the grocery list/meal plan tonight.

Here is my holiday to-do list:

1. Visit Santa (done!)
   
2. Get portraits taken (scheduled)
3. Wrap gifts (start next week)
   
4. Finish decorating (lights and last year's cards as decoration)--cards are up, and colored lights go up next
   
5. Email our e-card out and print it for the our grandmas (Bit's great-grandmas)--by 12/19
   
6. Celebrate our anniversary! LOL (top priority...it's in 2 days!)
   
7. Finish up menu/event planning--getting there, taking a casual approach:

• Brunch w/ Grandma, date set--location unknown
• Friends visit (haven't seen them since Summer), same day as brunch, Indian for dinner, Chex Mix for snacks, maybe get some Pomegrante 7-up for festive drinks
• Christmas Eve services? maybe skip it and watch movies, sing carols at home, more our speed/style
• Christmas day w/ our folks, planning to cook Let's Dish (figure out other side dishes, etc.)
• Celebrate with my extended family after Christmas (not sure what we'll need to bring)
  

Plans for New Years haven't firmed up yet, but they will...no need to stress. The holidays are meant to be fun and peaceful!

A busy weekend

Friday night was N's office Christmas party. He and I went...an actual *gasp* date! It was nice to get out, even if I was nervous at first. Once we were there, we enjoyed ourselves. The food was good and I got to meet his work-BFF. My only real complaint was that the DJ didn't play enough Christmas music. I'm looking forward to next year's party.

My mom stayed over Friday night and she and I took Bit to see Santa while N had a game day. I had to sit on Santa's lap with Bit, but that's to be expected with a 2-year-old. I splurged a little to round out my new wardrobe. I'm trying to be "done" with that, but it's tempting to keep shopping. Darn my retail therapy gene! I think I'm set...now if I could just get my laundry done so I'd have all my clothes available.

Sunday we took a road trip...a good 3.5 hours to visit a friend who we hadn't seen in over 2 years. He got to meet Bit and we were happy to see him and other friends again. It was good to spread some Christmas cheer, but considering that I got 5 hours of sleep on Friday night, I'm glad the weekend is over and I can officially start recovering.

Christmas organizing

Inspired by this blog, I asked N:

What are you favorite things/activities/etc. to do at Christmas-time?

Our consensus:

• Watch Christmas movies
• Walk/drive around the neighborhood at night to look at decorations
• Open one present on Christmas Eve
• Christmas music
• Decorations at home
• Stockings on Christmas morning

That shapes up to a pretty simple Christmas, yay! Obviously I also want to see family and friends, but everybody is so busy, I don't expect to see everyone. I wish everyone a happy, peaceful, satisfying holiday season!

I'm mostly done shopping, except for a few stocking stuffers. Here is my holiday to-do list:

1. Get portraits taken (assuming I can get into the studio...)
2. Wrap gifts
3. Finish decorating (lights and last year's cards as decoration)
4. Email our e-card out and print it for the our grandmas (Bit's great-grandmas)
5. Celebrate our anniversary! LOL
6. Finish up menu/event planning
7. Visit Santa (tomorrow)

Advent

I'm not religious, though I am spiritual. Ignore the religious content if you must, this video rocks either way!



adventconspiracy.org

Getting organized for the birthday

Bit has a cold, which slowed me down some today. Poor girl.

I still gone some stuff done during her blissful nap:

1. Do some weeding (boo)--to do 11/15
   
2. Mail bin needs to be emptied (again!)--done more or less
   
3. Install new hardware on cabinets/drawers
4. Fine-tune pantry and cabinets organization (esp. over sink cabinet and upper pantry)
5. Dust around tv
6. Wash sofa cover--to do 11/12
   
7. Put up new wintery curtains
8. Hang arkham boxes and other pics
9. Do the filing/purge old docs--visible filing done!

I also had to bake tonight (a pumpkin roll) for the celebration with our parents tomorrow. I'll have to make something the night before her birthday to share at daycare. And then make a cake Saturday for her Sunday party. (Having a kid with an egg allergy forces you to bake...)

Mallrats

I went to the mall twice this past weekend. It was very strange. The last time I'd been to a mall was during our road trip to NC on Labor Day weekend; and that was simply to get lunch (and give Bit somewhere to play). I can't remember the last time I went to one to shop.

I knew I needed some new pants. I really need jeans, but I didn't find any that fit. The ones I own are getting too big, sadly. I also found a new winter coat since my old one is too big as well. I didn't buy anything the first day, though. I got cold feet. Bit rode a train ($3 for her and N to ride) and had a blast!

I can see the appeal of the mall to families, but it's a culture I want nothing to do with. I hate spending money.

I went back the second day and tried on a ton of clothes. Came away about $210 poorer with a new coat, 2 pairs of pants, a sweater, a cami, a long-sleeved tee, and 2 new throws for the living room (in a better color than our current ones)--they were on sale! (As was the coat and virtually everything else...)

See? Insidious!

November To-Do List

We have alot going on this month with Bit's birthday, Thanksgiving, and my high school reunion. But other things still need to get done so here's my November wish list (red have to be done by the 15th; green=done; orange=in progress):

1. Do some weeding (boo)
2. Mail bin needs to be emptied (again!)
3. Install new hardware on cabinets/drawers
4. Fine-tune pantry and cabinets organization (esp. over sink cabinet and upper pantry)
5. Dust around tv
6. Wash sofa cover
7. Put up new wintery curtains
8. Hang arkham boxes and other pics
9. Do the filing/purge old docs
10. Schedule/finance new roof
11. Put away the hoses for the season --done!
12. Weather stripping at the top of the front door (I think)
13. A hook to hang empty bags on in the broom closet--done!
14. Declutter top of microwave--done!
15. Log in coke rewards
16. Store summer stuff in the shed--done!
17. Get bags/bins for the stuff in storage--done, sadly some stuff got ruined but it's just STUFF!
18. DECLUTTER spare room
19. Shift stuff to our room that needs to go (in prep for Bit's toddler bed even tho she isn't ready yet)
20. Utilize pantry space in Bit's room more efficiently
21. Toy purge/organization
22. Storage tub for clothing to grow/season into--done!
23. Declutter dresser top
24. Unpack boxes
25. Organize closet and underbed storage--started

Anti-clutter

Inspiration: Link 1 (momto2busyboys)
Link 2 (downwithclutter)

Hm...there is so much I want to do at home. Where to begin? I guess making a list is a good idea. (I already have several lists, but...I can't think of a way to end that sentence...perhaps something about procrastinating at work and avoiding thinking about my online game...ugh, procrastination...have I learned nothing!?) Although I can easily make my November Procrastination Challenge list from this.

Anyway...starting at the beginning...(green means good/done; red means top priority; orange means to-do-soon; blue means to-do-someday):

1. Front yard: We have some ideas from a landscaping company, but the $500-some quote is demotivating, especially with the need for a new roof looming (at a cost roughly 10x the landscaping quote)...so I think landscaping will have to wait until Spring (maybe); oh and I suppose we should put away the hose for the season and do some weeding.
   
2. Front door: Personally, I don't care for the shade of green, and it needs to be re-painted, but I have no idea when; also needs weather stripping at the top (I think)
3. Foyer: Nothing comes to mind except painting (which we have no time to do)
   
4. Front closet: Needs some major decluttering and organizing, but when??
5. Dining room: paint (someday); Mail bin needs to be emptied (again!) and some decluttering in the drawers; a hook to hang empty bags on in the broom closet
6. Kitchen: paint (someday); Declutter top of microwave; install new hardware on cabinets/drawers; deep cleaning (cabinets and fridge); check into cleaning/regrouting kitchen sink; fine-tune pantry and cabinets organization (esp. over sink cabinet and upper pantry)
   
7. Living room (TV half): dust around tv; wash sofa cover; hang pics; put up new wintery curtains
   
8. Living room (office half): hang arkham boxes and other pics; do the filing/purge old docs; log in coke rewards; toy purge
9. Laundry nook: figure out if there's a way to organize without leaving everything on top of the dryer (wall mounted storage solution)
10. Backyard: store summer stuff in the shed; get bags/bins for the stuff in storage; put away hose
    
11. Powder room: ugh, needs a complete overhaul...someday
12. Spare room/nursery: paint (someday); DECLUTTER; shift stuff to our room that needs to go (in prep for Bit's toddler bed even tho she isn't ready yet)
13. Bit's room (w/ crib): utilize pantry space more efficiently; toy purge/organization; storage tub for clothing to grow/season into
    
14. Bit's room (w/ toddler bed): set up new storage where pantry used to be; move changing table; solve lighting issues
15. Hall bathroom: fix tub surface; paint (someday)
16. Linen closet: organize and utilize
    
17. Our bathroom: paint (someday)
18. Our bedroom: paint (someday); declutter dresser top; unpack boxes; organize closet and underbed storage; move in stuff from the nursery; obtain secretary desk for N

Wow, for a 3 br, 2.5 ba, we have alot of spaces to work on!

Procrastination Update #2!

So, I'm planning to abandon my blog (tentatively) in 2009. But in the meantime... I did it! I did EVERYTHING on my original list! In a few days I'll write up November's list. Maybe I'll keep this blog just for the procrastination challenges alone. Woo hoo!

Updated list:

1. Install the pull out drawer in my pantry
2. Install the correct door knob on the spare bedroom door.
3. Fill in the mirror photo frame and hang it in the hall.
4. USE the Space Bags (sort of, using some for now)
5. Put up the new towel ring in the guest bathroom.(N did it!)
6. Hang the magnetic boards we got to display Bit's artwork.
7. New item: Install new shiny hardware on kitchen cabinets.
   

Link to Original Post

New Friends

I decided to do a small birthday party for Bit this year. Last year I gave in and invited all our families (well I think I only invited N's mom, but she brought her sister and neice anyway, which was fine). It was big, but a blast. Bit was the only little one there.

This year is a whole new ball game, seeing as she's an active toddler. So I decided to invite 2 little friends (1 for each year since she's turning 2). I sent the e-vite out last night and within an hour all 3 adults on the invite list had responded. How cool is that!!

I'm so used to my childless friends who are a nightmare to organize for anything. No offense to them, but it's so refreshing to have some brand new parenting-related friends who are, just, well, different from my old social circle.

My social network is vastly different than it was before having a kid and I am finally getting excited about it and more comfortable letting these newcomers in.

Fantastic!

Procrastination Update

Updated list:

1. Install the pull out drawer in my pantry--I did one but not the other. It'll be a pain in the arse, but get a box off my dining room floor that's been there FAR too long.
2. Install the correct door knob on the spare bedroom door.
3. Fill in the mirror photo frame and hang it in the hall.
4. USE the Space Bags (sort of, using some for now)
5. Put up the new towel ring in the guest bathroom.
6. Hang the magnetic boards we got to display Bit's artwork.
7. New item: Install new shiny hardware on kitchen cabinets.
   

Link to Original Post

Desperate Housewives

This is a show I never thought I would watch. However, when I went on maternity leave, I thought, why not? I thought I'd see if it was as stupid as it sounded. (I went through the exact same thing with Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and now I am totally hooked on every Joss Whedon makes.)

So I quickly absorbed (and bought) Seasons 1 and 2. They each contain one of my favorite episodes. Season 1, the one where Lynnette has a break down and the ladies come together to talk about how hard motherhood is. That really spoke to me as a first time mom. My second favorite is from Season 2 where they focus on dads, particularly Tom. Tom & Lynnette are very much like me and my hubby, minus the lies and conniving. We're straight with each other, but I'm definitely the dominant one.

Anyway, Season 3 was less interesting to me, though I did like what they did with Edy. Season 4 ended spectacularly, though, and I love what they are doing with the show. I am now excited again. Woo hoo!

Procrastination Challenge: October

For this month, I want to focus on using the things I've bought that have yet to be put to proper use. This is because my list of things I want to get for the house is growing, yet other mini-projects are left undone. This is precisely the type of consumerist behavior I want to avoid, so I must complete my tasks before taking on new possessions. Make sense?

(Since I don't have any readers, I don't think it matters.)

Anyway, here's the list:

1. Install the pull out drawer in my pantry--I did one but not the other. It'll be a pain in the arse, but get a box off my dining room floor that's been there FAR too long.
2. Install the correct door knob on the spare bedroom door (it currently has a key lock instead of a passage lock due to some weirdness of the previous owners).
3. Fill in the mirror photo frame and hang it in the hall.
4. USE the Space Bags, stop being afraid of them! (or regretting buying them, whatever)
5. Put up the new towel ring in the guest bathroom.
6. Hang the magnetic boards we got to display Bit's artwork.
   

Cucumber

I blew up at my boss today. Not angrily, but ...exuberantly. I told her to take something into her office and stop over-complicating things (she was trying to not disrupt me, and in the process being disruptive). I was right, but that doesn't matter. If I can't keep my cool and calmly communicate, then I might as well be wrong.

Must work on some relaxation, calming exercises. I like the idea of taking 15 minutes a day and spending them in silence. (Presumably not surfing the net either.)

A Girls' Night Out

My mom has gotten some scary medical news recently, so we have been talking alot. She just rejoined Weight Watchers and is all fired up to make her success last this time. I am 100% behind her because I know the program works. It worked for me. I lost over 100 lbs. and I'm keeping it off!

So I suggested that I meet her for her weekly meeting and we have dinner together afterward. I could tell she was excited by the tone in her voice. I was excited, too. Once I found the center, the meeting was good. I bought a few treats and shared a little of my story. I got 2 star "Bravo" stickers and a free "Lose for Good" tote bag for my trouble. It was great! It actually inspired me to go to meetings again on my own.

Then Mom and I had a lovely dinner at Applebees (with their WW friendly menu) and we chatted for what seemed like hours. I can't wait to do it again next month!

Life is short: DO Something!

I'm subtitling this "An argument for productivity." It pays to be organized and motivated. Why? Because life is short and we should make the most of it. That doesn't mean you shouldn't have down time, but it should be conscious down time--time that you've specifically set aside for relaxation. Not just time where you happen to have nothing to do, or are slacking on other tasks, or are bored.

As if you could kill time without injuring eternity. - Henry Thoreau

I think the problem most people have is being realistic.

1. They are unrealistic about how much time they actually have in a day. No matter what you do or where you are, a minute is still 60 seconds. A day is still 24 hours. So don't try to cram more than is reasonable into finite limits. (Yes, this requires a little bit of forethought, planning, and even saying "No.")
   
   
2. They are also unrealistic about their priorities. Most people think they know where their priorities lie. Mostly they just know what they believe their priorities should be, not what they really are.

I urge anyone who feels out of control or unfulfilled to try this: Track your week.

Each day, make a list of the 3 most important things you want to (or need to) accomplish that day. After a week, go back and see what those things are (and note whether you accomplished them).

If you actually did your top 3 things, those are your priorities. If you didn't do them, but did something else instead, then your priorities aren't what you thought they were. Even if you did the top 3 things, you might find that the things topping your list (your actual priorities) are different than you expected.

Thanks to SimpleMom for her Daily Docket, which helped me identify my own needs (and also clear out some brain clutter).

A picture is worth...

Most people I know, especially those with kids, have photo clutter. I have a master plan:

1. Get all my old photos scanned, including childhood pics of me and my hubby
2. Upload said photos to Photoworks, as an online archive and...
3. Create photobooks covering those years of old hard copy photos (FINALLY photo "albums" I can easily arrange and enjoy)

But what about life after the master plan? My new "vest friend" (virtual best friend) SimpleMom had a post on that very subject: Simple Ways to Store Photos.

Here are her simple steps:

1. download photos from the camera to the computer
2. upload some of the good ones to Flickr (in my case, Photoworks)
   
3. burn all the photos each month to a CD or DVD (not sure I can handle doing it monthly, but I create several backups a year, plus get the year in photos CD from Photoworks)
   
4. occasionally print one for framing (sounds prudent)
   
5. make a photo book annually (that's the plan!)
   

Progress

The desk is looking better, but I still have filing to do. Unforunately I find myself already wanting to move on to the next goal: box purging. (Unpacking the last of the boxes from our move.) But shouldn't I finish the filing first? I don't know! I'm so unmotivated to file...but if I'd just dig in and purge a bunch of files, it would be a simpler, less daunting task going forward. =\

Dilemmas! Here's the desk area....

BEFORE


AFTER

Simplify

So a couple months ago I established a schedule for N and I to eliminate the question of who was getting Bit up for the day. Previously, I let N do it most of the time, except weekends, when we were supposed to split duties, but N was opting to sleep in both days. No good!

So the schedule was set up so that 4 days a week N gets her up and I make b-fast. The other 3 days, the roles are reversed. No one gets to sleep in (unless Bit sleeps in), but it's fair. The only problem was that we kept forgetting whose day it was, even with the schedule posted in the bathroom. (No one wants to get up and go to the bathroom to find out the answer.)

I FINALLY came upon a perfect solution, related to yet another of our scheduled events: showers. We decided, also earlier this year, that N should shower on "T" days (Tues, Thurs, SaTurday). That way I always know when I'll be able to get my own showers in without being preempted by his sudden "OMG I need to bathe!" moments! (If it were up to me I'd just shower every other day most of the time, but N needed a schedule and T-days is easy to remember.)

So, duh! I've now applied this concept to the morning routine: on T-days N showers (at night) and I get Bit up while he makes b-fast (in the am). Perfect! If only everything could resolve itself so smoothly. (And if only I had thought of this months ago! lol)

SRLSY WTF?

I can accept that some women's pants lack pockets. It sucks, but I can accept that fact.

What I don't understand is why a pair of pants needs to have pockets that are *sewn shut*!

What is that about? Because I know I really need to have a few extra layers of material at my hips, how about you??

Sigh.

Fashion industry = fail.

Struggles

Since the week's big story is still brewing, I thought I would get back to posting about my dietary struggles. I say "diet" in that what you consume daily is your "diet." Not that I am on some kind of fad diet.

I am however following Weight Watchers Flex plan, which helps me keep track of how much I've consumed. You'd be surprised how quickly you forget what you've eaten when you're not journaling. Weekends are tough because I'm out and not near my computer to log my intake. But I do make an effort to get on and do it once I'm home.

This week has been stressful, so I have been overeating. I have struggled with emotional eating and stress eating for as long as I can remember. It's very difficult because most of it socially acceptable behavior (unlike other addictions).

Oh well...one day at a time. The important thing I've learned is to not let the mistakes of one meal or one day ruin a whole week of effort. I've been getting alot more exercise lately and that should count for something!

Courage

My hubby is quite brave. Last night he let me trim his hair (shave the base of the neck and trim the hair around his ears and sideburns). I'd never done it before but I was tired of having him take time out on the weekend to pay to have someone else do it. I didn't do a great job, but it's acceptable for my first time. He was happy and that's what counts.

I think he is a brave, brave man.

I, on the other hand, need my hair cut by professionals...SOON!

155 Points

Inflation is EVERYWHERE! Even mycokerewards.com... In JULY I got a free movie ticket (and a drink) for 330 points....Today that same reward costs 485 points. That's an increase of 155 over 2 freakin' months...

For those who don't know, you get 3 points for a bottle top (roughly $1.30) and 10 points for a 12-pack ($2.75-$5). So that's 15 more 12-packs to drink.

Sadly we go through probably 1-3 12-packs in a week, depending on consumption. But at least the rewards recoups some of the expense.

Disaster!

OK, not really, but I failed to post yesterday. Yesterday was just odd. Nothing went terribly wrong, but I didn't follow my "diet" at all. Although it did feel nice to end the weekend without cooking dinner; so I might have to make that the plan from now on. Weekends are just so tiring, no matter how busy (or not) I am.

Then again maybe my iron or thyroid is out of whack. Or I'm still getting over being sick. I should probably see a doctor at some point for a physical. And get my teeth cleaned (groan!).

Oh, and N's car wouldn't start after dropping Bit off at daycare. This is the second time. We really need a new car, so I guess a car payment is in our (possibly near) future.

Figures

We scheduled the replacement of ours and the neighbor's fence for today. They haven't shown up. Why am I not surprised?

This is why I'm always shocked when I schedule something and it actually happens. People are so )%(&#*% flaky!

What we watch & Why

N and I don't watch tv, but we do use Hulu to view certain shows and Netflix for others. Here's some of what we watch and why:

1) Lost: I came to it skeptically (we watched the first 3 seasons on DVD), but it has continued to be a decent show. The writing isn't perfect and some of the main characters are annoying (Jack and Kate), but the good moments outweigh the bad.

2) Medium: This show is pretty consistent and we like how realistic the family portrayal is; funny to find that in a supernatural drama. I'm fan of many of the actors and guest stars.

3) Bones: We are Joss Whedon fans, so we had to check out "Angel's" new show; the characters are very strong and well-developed, so it's a keeper, despite being a formulaic crime drama.

4) Doctor Who: N watched the old stuff as a kid with his aunt who passed away, so the revival of this series was exciting for him. With him there to provide context (such as WTH is a Time Lord/Dalek/Tardis/etc.?), I've come to love the show as well. Sadly it's only available to us on DVD (Netflix), but if you have BBC America check it out!

5) Torchwood: It's like X-Files meets Angel: the Series. I can't claim to have loved every episode's plot, but I do love the characters. I'm hesitant to finish Season 2 b/c I've heard some of the characters die off. But the writing is strong enough that I'll probably even commit to buy this series.

6) Heroes: Very love/hate. I am obsessed with the X-Men and their world, so this series is a natural draw for me (mutant powers!). Some of the characters are abysmally bad (e.g., Nathan is DUMB!) and the writing is really 50/50, but I keep tuning in...

I guess that's enough for now.

Daily post

(In case you're paying attention, I'm trying to post once a day. Something short and relevant to my day's thoughts/experiences/whatever.)

I am having a strange day. I have a virus that gave me a low grade fever, aches, and a sore throat. The sore throat is the main thing still lingering. I guess this is what Bit has and explains why she's been so...unsettled lately.

I spent the morning sleeping on my couch, then came to work, where I feel strangely isolated (not hard considering I have at most 6 co-workers). Now I'm contemplating distraction tactics for dealing with my daughter's tantrums for the rest of the evening.

Wish me luck!

Going Green: You're Doing It WRONG!

Hybrid Parking Trumps Handicapped at Local Mall

(My headline is so much better than theirs...) Anyway, this makes me so mad! It makes no sense whatsoever to give hybrid cars special parking spots. None at all! I would boycott this mall, but I never go there anyway. It's too ritzy.

That's another thing...in our area, hybrid = money. So it's classist, too.

Toddler 911

The last weekend with Bit was particularly horrendous. She had nap terrors on both days (where she wakes from her nap, crying hysterically no matter what we do, related to night terrors). She seemed to be a little sick, but not enough to go to the doctor. Likely the disrupted sleep (she also woke in the night for 2-3 days and woke early) wreaked the havoc with her usually manageable behavior. But on the other hand, we haven't been sticking to our routines as well as we should. Plus a few of the rules/limits have slipped lately (or not been established).

So N and I had one of those dreaded pow-wows about how to get our kid and our lives back under control. Here are our resolutions:

1) I will pick her up around 4:30-4:45. That gives us more down time in the evening, and causes less stress and rushing to fit in meal time and bath time, when needed.
2) Dinner will be a snack for now until Bit's appetite warrants a meal. Part of our struggles have been meal-related and I think it's partly due to her not being hungry and me rushing around trying to please her.
3) No offering her multiple food items if she isn't eating. It's OK to let her leave the table without eating what's served. If she's hungry, she'll let us know.
4) No letting her play with the computer speakers (N) or sitting at the computer without an adult in the chair with her (N, again). (Also no letting her play with the CD players, that's just a world of "No" right now.)
5) When you say "no," stick to it. Don't give in to whining, crying, tantrums, etc.
6) If When she has a tantrum, step back and let her work it out. Acknowledge her feelings ("I know you're upset" or "I know you're mad") but don't let her drama suck us in. Ignore her if necessary.

Alot of this seems obvious in writing. It's just very hard to stay rational in the face of a toddler's irrationality.

Here's my magic thought of the day: Sometimes I feel like I have a baby, a toddler, and a preschooler rolled into one!

Have I mentioned I support marriage rights?

George Takei and his longtime partner, Brad Altman, were wed Sunday evening in a Buddhist ceremony in downtown Los Angeles.George Takei and his longtime partner, Brad Altman, were wed Sunday evening in a Buddhist ceremony in downtown Los Angeles.


Yay! I love weddings! They look so happy and I'm happy for them.

Procrastination: Tiny steps

Here's an update on the Procrastination Challenge:

1) Clean up and organize my office area (which spans my desk, a set of drawers, a filing cabinet and a bookshelf). -- in progress


2) Purge and organize Bit's downstairs toys, particularly this shelf. -- done! (small task)


It doesn't look that much different. The most important thing is that we found the missing piece for her puzzle! (And both puzzles are living on top, which is a nice change.)

Stay tuned for more...

What Not to Wear: My Style!

Since losing over 60 lbs. in the two years, I have found myself sorely lacking in wardrobe. My clothes are way too big and it's just as depressing as the opposite problem (contrary to popular belief). For my birthday, I finally made major strides toward remedying my clothing situation. It was very intimidating at first because my bottom is still big (and curvy) enough that I can shop at my old standby: Lane Bryant (plus size clothing). Totally in my comfort zone. But my top has shrunk so much that I can't fit into the smallest size at that store.

You're probably wondering what the problem is, but you see, I've never in my life had to (been able to) shop at a "regular" clothing store, so I have no idea what my style is or where I "want" to shop! Despite my teenage disdain for trendy clothing and stores, today I finally broke down and visited Old Navy. I have to blame my addiction to TLC's What Not to Wear for what happened next...I loved it! Not only was it a rush to be wearing XL and L tops (depending on the style), but I also enjoyed the selection and challenge of learning how to layer, etc. Shopping was exhausting, which is why I do it in bursts like this.

The photo-shoot, however, is highly unprecedented. I'm just so glad to be getting rid of shirts that I hate and having shiny new digs, that I had to mark the occasion. Check it out!

Teaser image (click for "remix" slideshow):


(Disclaimer: My husband, I love him, but he's not a great photographer! And I'm too tired to edit the photos anymore...)

Procrastination

Today I wanted to officially sign up for the Procrastination Challenge, but then I realized I wasn't sure what my project would be! What have I been procrastinating on? I know there has to be a huge list, but I don't want to get overwhelmed. So here's my short list:

1) Clean up and organize my office area (which spans my desk, a set of drawers, a filing cabinet and a bookshelf).



2) Purge and organize Bit's downstairs toys, particularly this shelf.



I naturally came up with more, but I need to focus and adding to the list will just distract me. And possibly discourage me. My main problem ISN'T procrastination. It's really lack of time. I work a full-time job, cook dinner every night, empty the dishwasher daily, pack lunches, as well as entertaining my toddler for the 90 minutes we have together in the evening (and the 30-45 min we have as a family once N gets home). Then there's regular chores: laundry, cleaning. And although we don't have cable, every once in a while I like to watch something with my hubby. Can't be all work, no play. So, I'm just saying...it's hard to find time for side projects!

Ack! Enough excuses!



(The rest of my list for later)
3) Set up spreadsheet for home improvement/maintenance costs (supposed to have started in April!)
4) Get a plumber to fix our hose spigots (both leaking)
5) See if home warranty will cover an evaluation of our dishwasher (does it need maintenance, repair, replacement?)

anniversary

Jeff Buckley-Hallelujah.flv
by Rock-90s

Wahoo! Domestic ninja!

I discovered you don't need a table to fold a t-shirt in 2 seconds. (I did it on the bed.)

I also learned HOW to fold a t-shirt in 2 seconds. It almost makes me want to have more t-shirts.

Almost.

I feel like such a domestic ninja!

Weight Loss: Rewards & Goals

The theme this week seems to be weight loss. So in anticipation of finally losing some more weight, I thought I'd outline some goals and rewards.

Rewards
1. Buy some WW snacks (expensive)
2. Buy a food processor (particularly for trying out Hungry Girl's faux fried dishes)

Goals
1. Make a more WW-friendly meal plan
2. Cook ahead on the weekend
3. Make my own snack packs (entails buying more gladware and planning)

I have to avoid those 100 calorie packs because I eat too many mindlessly. Fie!

Manic Monday

I've got to go get the Bit from daycare, but I thought I'd jot down today's challenge:

My eating is out of control, which sucks. I've been struggling to get below 180 on the scale for months now. I've resisted going back to Weight Watchers because I'm sick of food journaling.

However, they're running a campaign where they'll donate food to the hungry for every pound lost. So that was the catalyst for me to re-join (yet again). I really hope I can maintain the accountability and actually take some weight off over the next 3 months.

Here's to less of me!

13 Steps to Happiness (borrowed)

What does all this mean to you? If money won’t bring you happiness, what will? How can you stop making yourself miserable and start learning to love life? According to my research, these are the thirteen actions most likely to encourage happiness:

1. Don’t compare yourself to others. Financially, physically, and socially, comparing yourself to others is a trap. You will always have friends who have more money than you do, who can run faster than you can, who are more successful in their careers. Focus on your own life, on your own goals.
2. Foster close relationships. People with five or more close friends are more apt to describe themselves as happy than those with fewer.
3. Have sex. Sex, especially with someone you love, is consistently ranked as a top source of happiness. A long-term loving partnership goes hand-in-hand with this.
4. Get regular exercise. There’s a strong tie between physical health and happiness. Anyone who has experienced a prolonged injury or illness knows just how emotionally devastating it can be. Eat right, exercise, and take care of our body. (And read Get Fit Slowly!)
5. Obtain adequate sleep. Good sleep is an essential component of good health. When you’re not well-rested, your body and your mind do not operate at peak capacity. Your mood suffers. (Read more in my brief guide to better sleep.)
6. Set and pursue goals. I believe that the road to wealth is paved with goals. More than that, the road to happiness is paved with goals. Continued self-improvement makes life more fulfilling.
7. Find meaningful work. There are some who argue a job is just a job. I believe that fulfilling work is more than that — it’s a vocation. It can take decades to find the work you were meant to do. But when you find it, it can bring added meaning to your life.
8. Join a group. Those who are members of a group, like a church congregation, experience greater happiness. But the group doesn’t have to be religious. Join a book group. Meet others for a Saturday morning bike ride. Sit in at the knitting circle down at the yarn shop.
9. Don’t dwell on the past. I know a guy who beats himself up over mistakes he’s made before. Rather than concentrate on the present (or, better yet, on the future), he lets the past eat away at his happiness. Focus on the now.
10. Embrace routine. Research shows that although we believe we want variety and choice, we’re actually happier with limited options. It’s not that we want no choice at all, just that we don’t want to be overwhelmed. Routines help limit choices. They’re comfortable and familiar and, used judiciously, they can make us happy.
11. Practice moderation. Too much of a good thing is a bad thing. It’s okay to indulge yourself on occasion — just don’t let it get out of control. Addictions and compulsions can ruin lives.
12. Be grateful. It’s no accident that so many self-help books encourage readers to practice gratitude. When we regularly take time to be thankful for the things we have, we appreciate them more. We’re less likely to take them for granted, and less likely to become jealous of others.
13. Help others. Over and over again, studies have shown that altruism is one of the best ways to boost your happiness. Sure, volunteering at the local homeless shelter helps, but so too does just being nice in daily life.

Remember: True wealth is not about money. True wealth is about relationships, about good health, and about continued self-improvement.

Credit goes to: The Psychology of Happiness: 13 Steps to a Better Life

CFL bulb warning!

In a classic "but then again..." moment, I have decided to rid my home of CFL bulbs.

What?! you say. What about the environment?

I bought a few CFL bulbs for our home based on the energy efficiency and recommendations of friends. However, now I am seriously considering removing them, especially from rooms with carpet.

My concern is that, if they break, the mercury in them can contaminate our home. This article cites recent studies, including one by the State of Maine, about the high levels of contamination caused by CFL breakage. I just don't think it's worth the risk. Environmental cleanup can cost hundreds or thousands.

IF you do use CFL bulbs and one breaks, DO NOT vacuum the area! The mercury will become vapor and much more dangerous. Most of you know I am passionate about environmental issues and such, but this is unacceptable. Industry needs to come up with a SAFE way to save energy, not by exposing our families to toxins. Yes, the environmental cost of electricity is a concern, but I would rather watch how much I use my lights, unplug appliances when not in use, and use lower watt regular bulbs than introduce a potential hazard to my home.

It just goes to show, that you have to work hard to educate yourself in this world, and be willing to change your opinion. (By the way, you might want to stock up on regular bulbs, I've heard they may become unavailable in the future, though I don't have hard facts on that story.)

Link: http://www.worldnetd­aily.com/index.php?fa­=PAGE.view&pageId=721­33

Much of the "green" movement is about decreasing the toxins and hazards brought into our home. It's about decreasing our environmental impact and the potential health risks to our loved ones and ourselves. I just don't see CFLs as a positive solution in light of the risks posed: mercury poisoning, possible migraine trigger, links to dementia. I have no idea if there are similar risks using traditional bulbs, but if I become aware of any, I'll let you know.

Substance

I haven't been very good about updating my journal. I should do it for my own memory's sake. For example, I met up with a long-lost high school friend back in May (or was it June) and I didn't mention it. I didn't even get pictures! And now I think she's swamped at work with the upcoming DNC or maybe she finds me utterly boring. Either way it'll be awhile before we meet up again.

It's funny how things work out. For example, Bit spiked a fever last Thursday and the ensuing recovery from a random virus is what led to our realization that she has night terrors. I like to see that things happen for a reason.

I'm juggling alot with work, home improvement, housekeeping, and family time. But I think overall I'm having the time of my life. We are strongly considering having baby #2 in 2010 (with conception in mid-2009). Finances are the main hold-up, but so is making sure Bit is ready (and we are, too). If the stars seem right and money is still tight, I think I'll consider different daycare options. Possibly another in-home situation, though I'd prefer to keep Bit at her current facility. It's just so expensive! We might have them in different daycares initially.

I've also worried about being home alone with 2 kids every night and how to juggle dinnertime. Right now it works to feed Bit, then make dinner and eat after she's in bed. But I don't want to do that forever. The kids need to know about family meal time. Granted we have breakfast together, but it's not the same. So last night we came up with the idea that N will change his hours next year. If he goes in earlier, he can be home in time to pick up Bit from daycare. (I'm pretty adamant about both of us being involved in her daily routine, sharing pick-ups and drop-offs.) It means I start doing the drop-offs, but we get family dinners and I get uninterrupted time to cook!

I'm looking forward to that, though I want to wait till Bit's 2 before making such a big change. On that note, I can't believe it's only 4 months till her birthday!!!

You've got mail!

I signed up with gmail about 3 years ago. I am using 1064 MB (15%) of 6960 MB free storage. I have over 35 different labels, including a "to be filed" where I threw the dozens of emails in my in box earlier this year.

My name is Christine, and I have an e-mail problem.

I believe I am an e-mail hoarder and after learning that the environmental impact of servers storing all our data is as bad or worse than SUV's, I think I need to nip it in the bud.

So this is the start of my new pledge. To archive anything that I "might" need in the next 30 days; delete more; and use labels sparingly.

I don't think I can get it down to 3 like some advocate, but my goal is 12 or less. I deleted the label where I put all the comments from my LJ. It was almost liberating.

A history of night terrors

Bit was just diagnosed with having night terrors, although she hasn't had a traditional night terror since we did sleep training. I didn't realize at the time that they were night terrors, starting around 8 or 9 months old. When she would wake in the night, we went to her, as we were "trained" to when she was a newborn, except nothing we did seemed to comfort her. Often it seemed to make it worse. After many difficult months, we finally found the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth. This book helped us let go and use the "elimination" method of sleep training (aka cry it out). It more or less worked like a charm. Within 3 days, our nights were much more peaceful.

Bit often cries out during sleep transitions, but it's usually no more than single cry or short series of whimpers. The form her night terror general takes is what I call "nap terrors". Technically I believe it is "sleep inertia" (which is briefly mentioned in Weissbluth's book) or "confusional arousal" (this term brings up more articles on a google search). But according to our doctor, it all falls under night terrors, like so many medical definitions (morning sickness for example) it's a misnomer. Unfortunately I'm not sure when Bit had her first "nap terror" but I think it was between 13 and 15 months. It may have been closer to 15 months, when we took away the bottle (though she seemed fine with that transition) and we were house hunting and preparing to move.

During a nap terror, she wakes from her nap after a good amount of time 90 min-2+ hours, but she immediately starts crying. If you go to her and try to pick her up or soothe her, it gets worse: she arches her back, flails, screams more, hits and generally throws a huge tantrum for no discernable reason. If left in the crib, she kicks at the slats. It almost seems like she is in pain or very angry/distressed. She won't respond to her name and she doesn't call for mom or dad. It's just a "fit" generally lasting 15 min or up to an hour. The more you try to interact with her and soothe her, the longer it lasts. Nothing helps, except time. Her brain needs time to adjust to the wakeful state. According to her doctor she gets "stuck" in Stage 4 of sleep; she isn't truly awake.

It definitely took her a couple weeks to adjust to our new home (a very different home, two level townhouse vs. apartment). We had some rough mornings and I think that some of them were due to "sleep inertia". As far as I know this behavior didn't happen at daycare until recently. I was informed almost daily for the first 2 weeks of July that she was having disrupted sleep and crying inconsolably. I didn't know what to make of the reports as her napping at home was normal. Then last week I was informed that she had been "weaned" off the pacifier at naptime. The doctor and I believe this may have triggered the recent episodes since she is used to having a paci at sleeptimes. Having a pacifier doesn't guarantee that she won't have a "fit" but it may help prevent it.

The doctor also recommends that we try to do more quiet play with her before her nap and work to avoid her getting overtired. If she continues to have the episodes and it is too disruptive to the other children, she may have to be moved to a new daycare where she can be isolated during naptime. We hope it doesn't come to that.

There is also a chance that since she has difficulty with sleep transitions she could have sleepwalking episodes when she's older or true night terrors (crying out in the middle of the night, inconsolable...especially since I think that happened when she was younger). But at least we know what it is now and we know how to handle it. As well as how to maybe prevent it.

Family History: I know I had a couple instances of sleepwalking as a kid, but it was not a chronic problem. I also had severe nightmares, but those are different from night terrors in that terrors are usually not remembered and they aren't really dreams. My cousin has been known to sleepwalk as well and my husband's grandmother (who Bit was named for) also has had sleepwalking episodes.

Quick & Easy... & Yummy!

I've discovered 2 recipes lately that are quite the above (quick, easy, yummy). And I don't want to forget them, so I'm posting!

Mexican Beef & Bean 'Sloppy Joes'

- 1 lb ground meat (preferably lean and/or grass fed beef)
- bean dip (with or without corn)
- salsa and/or seasoning to taste
- corn (if not in dip)
- Optional: sour cream or plain yogurt, cheese, chips (if you want nachos/dip), bread/buns (if you want a sandwich), salad (if you want a taco salad), tortillas (for quesadillas or tacos)

Brown the meat (rinse if desired). Mix in the dip and (if using) seasoning, salsa and corn. Warm it up and eat it. Ideas: nachos, tacos, salad, sandwich

Mm...

Bean & Rice Bowls

- Rice of your choice
- 0 Point Mexican style soup (or similar veggie/bean Mexican flavored soup, meat optional, I designed this to be vegetarian)
- Can of beans (such as black or pinto)

Cook up the rice. Dump the soup and beans (rinsed) into a microwavable container and heat (or do it on the stove). Combine and consume.

Funny things

It's funny how long it can take you to get around to doing something simple. My mom always tells me that she used to have a round piece of wood with the words "TU IT" on it. Get it? She had "a-round tu-it". Mm...puns!

At work, I finally scanned this cool stamp and gave the hard copy to our stamp-collecting office manager. Yet, the files waiting to be recycled are still sitting on the floor. Oh well, tomorrow!

On the homefront, I'm torn. I want to purge Bit's toys; she plays with so few of them that they are mostly just clutter. I'm very anti-clutter, yet I am very slow at getting rid of things because I can't throw away anything that's usable. So it piles up until I make a thrift store run. Anyway, I'm torn because I also want to work out. I'm way out of the habit and that needs to change pronto! (I just promised myself I'd lose 1 lb. a month for the next 10 months.) But I need to tackle the home projects or that will drive me insane, too. Ugh!

I'm also aware of the first step of the Fly Lady's home cleaning-organization routine: clean your sink, which Ryan's mom reminded me of today. So now I'm contemplating when I can finally get around to it (there's that phrase again!) because my sink is admittedly gross. The main thing slowing me down there, aside from time, is my refusal to use commercial/toxic cleaning products, like bleach and windex. So I have the added step of considering what homemade cleaner is best suited to the job. I'm sure you can imagine that is half the battle.

It's so hard to prioritize!

Do you have organizational clutter?

I have realized that one of my problems in tackling my to do list is... my to do list. I have a couple of lists of projects scattered around and they are quite lengthy. I get so overwhelmed by the sheer number of things I need to accomplish that I don't do anything. Sometimes I even make a new list.

This is madness!

Nassir suggested taking a short view and tackling one thing at a time. I think he's entirely right. (It's amazing how often I discover that he's right these days; it's like learning to appreciate my parents' wisdom all over again. Ooh maturity...) Anyway, so by taking on a reasonable task for the amount of time available, I will actually start accomplishing things. I may not be crossing items off a to do list, but I will have real results instead of broken dreams and unfulfilled wishes.

"People are finding that their homes are full of stuff, but their lives are littered with unfulfilled promises." - My hero, Peter Walsh

Time article @ The 100 Thing Challenge

When men become fathers

I dare you to read this and not (at least want to) cry: http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/04/25/the-longest-night/

It's about one man's realization that his financial outlook had to change for his dreams to come true, including the life he wants for his son. Over the weekend, N and I got into a discussion about parenting. We both grew up being told we could do whatever we wanted with our lives and a friend recently told me that she felt like she was lying to her son when she said that. I quickly tried to assure her that such statements don't need to be literally true; that they build a foundation of self-esteem and self-sufficiency that is crucial to anyone's ability to actually achieve their dreams. I discovered that N feels very strongly about sending this message to our child(ren), so much that it nearly brought him to tears just talking about it. I really believe that having a child brings your emotions to the surface and men are much more susceptible to emotions and hormones than they let on.

That wasn't the main reason for this post, but it seems like a good place to stop and reflect. I am a lucky woman and I don't want to forget that.

Back to green

Gotta love the title of this blog post: Everything you do is bad for you, your kids & the planet

And I ditto everything there pretty much. I'm even considering paring down my beauty products. I already use very few. Who knew I was so green? I thought I just sucked at being a girl.

Fox sucks

Figures I discover a fantastic show only to find out that it was canceled by...Fox. Yet again proving how much the assholes running Fox really don't recognize anything resembling entertainment.



Is it just me or does the guy starring in Kitchen Confidential look like the love child of Ralph Fiennes and Seth Green?

Progress

Last night we moved boxes from the living room up to the spare room. Tonight N will prep the living room (or part of it) for painting so we can start painting on Friday. Yay!! Before we moved in, we got the accent color up, but had no time to finish the job. It is my personal goal to finish painting the living room before June. My Fathers Day gift to N is to let him have the month "off" to prep for a tournament he's in at the end of the month (miniatures gaming). If my living room is painted I can at least get it set up while he's "off". I plan to take some time off too, but I know myself well enough to know that I will still do some work on the house. Partly because that's what I enjoy doing right now.

Fortunate Events

I was about to walk across the street and get something bad for me for an afternoon pick-me-up, when one of my coworkers stopped to compliment me on my weight loss. She rarely speaks to me, so it was nice to hear something so positive from her. And after that how could I possibly go buy junk? But I wanted to got over there anyway, so I just got my diet coke and came back. I'm still hungry, but I can dig up a low fat snack at my desk. ^_^

There's something I need to tell myself:

You do not weigh 200 lbs. Your weight starts with a 1. You are not 200 lbs anymore!

I literally keep forgetting this...

And just something I wanted to write, not really a poem:

Today I went for a walk.
It inspired me to take my family on a picnic.
It inspired me to play a romantic song for my husband, perhaps over dinner for two.
It was nice to just wander through my thoughts without the confines of walls around me.
To feel the warmth on my skin and the breeze in my hair.
Walks are for love and family and thoughts.
Most of all, they are for me and I am for them.

Weekend report

(I wonder if anyone is lurking my blog...just in case...)

The weekend was busy and mostly awesome. We failed to give away our sofa and loveseat so I had to go by town hall on Friday to arrange a special pick-up for them. While there, I noticed they were setting up for an event and asked about it. They reminded me that our town has free music on Friday nights all summer! So when N got home I suggested walking over there via the bike trail to check it out. It was loud and I think that was offputting for Bit (plus we got dinner but she had just eaten so she got none). But it was fun and I hope to do it again, weather permitting. As a bonus we ran into a lady I know from daycare (her daughter is 3 months younger than Bit) and she was very friendly! We got to meet her hubby/boyfriend, too and next time I see her I'm totally getting her number and setting up a playdate dammit! Lol...They seem to be about our age and cool (cooler than us, not that that's hard)...I'm so excited about making this connection (mom-nerd!).

On Saturday, we took Bit to my mom's and hit Ikea for the trip of doom. We bought way too much stuff (spent almost our entire stimulus check) and I got overwhelmed in the process, but the upshot is, we have new stuff for our new house and the big stuff was delivered promptly on Sunday (no time off work!). Now we just have to get it all together. Sigh. But it's a nice problem to have I suppose.

The downside to all this activity was that Bit didn't nap except in the car, 2 separate times, and hence her sleep on Sat. night was crud. Poor N had to get up stupidly early with her. Last night was better (she had a normal nap Sunday), though I did have to go in at 3:30 am...but after I tended to the reasonable things (diaper, warmer pjs, tylenol for teething), I put her back in the crib and let her cry 10-15 min so I could go back to bed. It sucks to let her cry, but she went back to sleep until almost 6. Much more reasonable.

Sunday, N got his hair trimmed (finally!) and we took a big trip to Home Depot to spend the rest of our stimulus check. (Stimulating, isn't it?) We got a weed whacker and N proceeded to whack the backyard. We are spoiled in that the HOA pays for the front yard to be taken care of. Woot! I was pretty proud of N. We also got the equipment to repair the screen on our sliding door...I'm surprisingly excited about tackling that project. I feel so handy!

On a related note (pride), Bit is eating well with her spoon/spork. She gets yogurt everywhere though and sometimes "forgets" to use the spoon. And sometimes she shakes her yogurt-coated hand around in the air or puts a plate with green bean residue on her head. And then it's bath time. She can also drink from a cup, under supervision, since she still tends to go too fast or just dump it out for giggles. I can't wait to see how tall she is at the dr's appt this month! (18 month check up)

Earth Day Crisis!

I'm having an ideological crisis on possibly the worst day to do so (Earth Day). An article on the evils of biofuels has me alarmed about deforestation, and thinking that it should be stopped, but it won't be. It will continue because there's money to be made. Money truly is the cause of and solution to all of life's problems. The root of my crisis is this: If I let myself, I will think of a problem with every single action I take.

For example, I get up in the morning and go to the bathroom. I use recycled toilet paper, which makes me feel a little better, but then I flush a traditional toilet and waste some water, as well as putting that water through the system that probably causes emissions (electricity use) and may contribute to pollution for all I know. But I have to pee! Then I brush my teeth, all the while in my bathroom lit by hot, inefficient incandescent bulbs. My toothpaste is by a natural company called Jason. It lacks the fresh mint flavor and whitening power of Crest, but I tell myself it's better for me and the environment. Although I don't know if the package is recyclable. And it claims to be "natural" which I've read is not a regulated claim, so it can mean next to nothing. More stress!

And I haven't even gotten dressed or done my hair yet. Sigh.

So I can't let myself think about every little thing or I'll be paralyzed with depression before breakfast. But then when AM I supposed to think? And what can I do about the issues, big and small, contributing to the human-led destruction of the planet? I don't have the answer to that.

It seems like the more I learn, the more problems there are and the solutions are not at all perfect. I want to do my best, but at the same time, I want to just live my life. I am almost 30 and I have a child, and there are only so many days, weeks, years I have to live. What if I spend all my time sacrificing to make the world a better place, fighting the urge to be an average consumer, and for what? To die and have little to show for it. It feels completely pointless and insurmountable at times. I guess the key is to step back when I need to and dig in again when it's fun. Because frankly if I'm not enjoying my journey in this world, what's the point?

And I do enjoy learning about how to be more environmentally conscious and thinking about ways to have less negative impact. I also want to be healthy and have a healthy family. For me, "green living" encompasses all things...the environment, life, family, health. So while it is hard at times to face the insurmountable issues surrounding our world, I think that ultimately it is well worth my time and effort to do so.

There are no easy answers. There are no quick fixes. To do this right, it takes dedication, a desire to learn, a willingness to change your mind, and above all keen self-awareness (so you can set boundaries as needed) and a sense of humor. It's like parenting. It's hard and intense, but totally worth it.

Edit: Apparently I'm not the only one writing about self-doubt today! Check out No Impact Man's post today.

Front-page concerns (from May 3, 2007)

These are just a few of the things at the front of my mind lately...

1) How can I be more environmentally friendly? I'm looking into products like Seventh Generation (and apparently Method). They're more expensive and harder to find, but I think they might be worth it for peace of mind. (Doing what I can.) As for household cleaners, all I really need is water, soap, vinegar, baking soda (though I haven't tried it yet), and rubbing alcohol. I may even try using newspaper instead of paper towels to clean glass!

2) How can I eat healthier? I want to go organic...at least partially. The Colbert Report covered the reason growth hormones are bad in cows/milk. It was gross! Now I can't stand the idea of drinking regular milk...I got my first container of organic last week (but we had to finish off the regular stuff first, so I haven't tasted it). I don't think we'll go soy, though...we like the taste of milk. And I'm trying to get more produce (not usually organic tho) and yogurt and cut out more processed foods. It's friggin' expensive to do this, but I'm still sticking to my budget, just buying less. The one thing I think we really need to do is cut out soda for body and money...but it's just not happening any time soon. I have to have flavor...and I have yet to find a suitable alternative.

Rather than reproduce all my "green" posts here, go to my other journal here.

Sustainable Living

This recent entry in No Impact Man's blog hits on alot of my own struggles with green living. As I started to push myself to be more green last year, I started tagging entries on my livejournal with "it's not easy being green" (Thank you, Kermit) because it really isn't! Buying anything at the grocery store labelled as "organic" is 2-3 times more expensive than the conventional items. As someone who's struggled with weight issues, the convenient snack foods that keep me on track with Weight Watchers are not organic, nor are they responsibly packaged. They are packaged for convenience and portion control. I have to sacrifice some of that convenience in order to be a "greener" consumer. The work is on me.

Sometimes living green is cheaper and more (or at least equally) convenient, but many times it's just plain harder and more expensive. I quickly lapsed back into old habits last year. I gave up being green so I could focus on my family and weight issues. I didn't do it consciously, but I did it nonetheless. I chose to focus on other things. This year, after attending a green seminar held by our publisher (I work in publishing), I am renewing my commitment to living green(er) and trying to improve my ecological impact factor. At the very least, I want to feel that I made an effort to save the planet before it becomes an inhospitable place for my children and/or grandchildren. Improving our own quality of life in the here and now is a bonus!