Earth Day Crisis!

I'm having an ideological crisis on possibly the worst day to do so (Earth Day). An article on the evils of biofuels has me alarmed about deforestation, and thinking that it should be stopped, but it won't be. It will continue because there's money to be made. Money truly is the cause of and solution to all of life's problems. The root of my crisis is this: If I let myself, I will think of a problem with every single action I take.

For example, I get up in the morning and go to the bathroom. I use recycled toilet paper, which makes me feel a little better, but then I flush a traditional toilet and waste some water, as well as putting that water through the system that probably causes emissions (electricity use) and may contribute to pollution for all I know. But I have to pee! Then I brush my teeth, all the while in my bathroom lit by hot, inefficient incandescent bulbs. My toothpaste is by a natural company called Jason. It lacks the fresh mint flavor and whitening power of Crest, but I tell myself it's better for me and the environment. Although I don't know if the package is recyclable. And it claims to be "natural" which I've read is not a regulated claim, so it can mean next to nothing. More stress!

And I haven't even gotten dressed or done my hair yet. Sigh.

So I can't let myself think about every little thing or I'll be paralyzed with depression before breakfast. But then when AM I supposed to think? And what can I do about the issues, big and small, contributing to the human-led destruction of the planet? I don't have the answer to that.

It seems like the more I learn, the more problems there are and the solutions are not at all perfect. I want to do my best, but at the same time, I want to just live my life. I am almost 30 and I have a child, and there are only so many days, weeks, years I have to live. What if I spend all my time sacrificing to make the world a better place, fighting the urge to be an average consumer, and for what? To die and have little to show for it. It feels completely pointless and insurmountable at times. I guess the key is to step back when I need to and dig in again when it's fun. Because frankly if I'm not enjoying my journey in this world, what's the point?

And I do enjoy learning about how to be more environmentally conscious and thinking about ways to have less negative impact. I also want to be healthy and have a healthy family. For me, "green living" encompasses all things...the environment, life, family, health. So while it is hard at times to face the insurmountable issues surrounding our world, I think that ultimately it is well worth my time and effort to do so.

There are no easy answers. There are no quick fixes. To do this right, it takes dedication, a desire to learn, a willingness to change your mind, and above all keen self-awareness (so you can set boundaries as needed) and a sense of humor. It's like parenting. It's hard and intense, but totally worth it.

Edit: Apparently I'm not the only one writing about self-doubt today! Check out No Impact Man's post today.