Daily dose of C: 11/12

I woke up in the middle of the night last night in pain. My shoulder/elbow is flared up from the impromptu gardening I did Friday when I locked myself out of the house. So I took some Ibuprofen, but I was too "awake" to go back to sleep right away. So instead I watched several episodes of 30 Rock and snacked.

I have been an emotional eating fiend lately, with no end in sight really. As much as I love this time of year (holidays, birthdays, anniversary), it gets stressful and there are important decisions to make. I haven't been journaling my food intake at all the last few weeks, and finding time to go to WW meetings is becoming increasingly challenging. So today I decided to switch gears -- I cancelled WW and am planning to re-join the "little gym" by my office. I can stop in and do some jogging in a comfortable venue before or after (or during) work. I really miss jogging (and the health benefits I got from it), so I'm looking forward to starting tomorrow.

I just hope I actually follow through.

Weight check-in

I started off the year at 176, an unfortunate 11 lb. gain from last August when my crazy Fall began and we quit the gym. That gain also put me over my WW Lifetime goal weight. (Incidentally I hadn't really been to WW since the end of August either!) Not a good place to be overall. We re-joined the gym in January, but my weight didn't budge over 2 months.

At the end of February, my friend also joined the gym. She encouraged me to try a Zumba class with her. It was no small thing--I'd always been too shy to try an exercise class. N would tell me about his bootcamp class and I would think, "I could never do that." Despite all my weight loss success and completing my first 5K run/walk in 2011, I just didn't think I could do it. But I agreed to go with her!

At Zumba, I was embarrassed at the teacher's attempts to help me along, and I almost walked out in tears, but I stuck with it and finished the class. Despite the embarrassment, I had fun and I planned to go again. Not only that, but since then, I have also tried two other exercise classes: cycling (spin) and step aerobics. Cycling was really tough physically to finish, but I did it. And I even went to step class all by myself!

I am thrilled to report that I now have the confidence to keep going to classes. And they do burn more calories and last longer than my typical solo workout, so I am optimistic about the health impact. I never thought 2012 would mean facing my fears. But I'm so glad I did! A switch has turned on and I have been the gym nearly 5 out of 7 days for three weeks.

I have also tracked my eating these last 3 weeks, which is something I haven't done in, well, years really. So I know where I am, and I know that I can gain (better) control over my eating and get off the weight I need to lose to fit into my size 10 jeans and regain my Lifetime WW status.

How are you doing with your New Years resolutions?

Quote of the week

from the Weight Watchers 3-month journal:

"It is better to take many small steps in the right direction than to make a great leap forward only to stumble backward."

- Old Chinese proverb

Leap Day

In writing a comment on Facebook to reflect on the previous Leap Year and the forthcoming one, I went a little too far, so you get to read the full scoop here:

In Feb. 2008, I had a 15mo old sweetheart who didn't like to sleep. N and I shared drop-off/pick-up responsibilities and we mostly still ate dinner after Bit "went to bed." I was 27 (the supposed ultimate age); N was 30; Newb wasn't a sure thing yet, but I contemplated dates/spacing an awful lot.

Looking at my g-cal for fun, we were watching LOST, getting our carseat professionally installed/inspected, having our first night away from Bit (Valentine's Day overnight), actively househunting, and I had a standing chat date with my college BFFs. I was also gaming and using Let's Dish for meal planning. I had lost 9.2 lbs in January and weighed 181.6! It was my first time in the 180's. In early March, we were lucky enough to celebrate my grandma's 85th birthday with her.

On 2/28/08, I wrote someone this story about Bit (heart-melting):

I'm taking Bit to daycare most of this week so that N can get into work early and recoup some of his lost time. This morning I misjudged how cold it was and brought Bit to the frigid car, strapped her in and got it started to warm up. She kept fussing and I could see her breath. (In the carseat she can't wear her winter coat, so she just had a fleece jacket.) I thought 'oh my, this will NOT do!'

So I got Bit out of her seat and opened up my jacket (putting hers on is a pain sometimes) and I cuddled her against me. Then we sat in the driver's seat to wait while the car warmed up. It was so nice to just sit there with her and enjoy the morning sky lighting up. She spotted a bird and said "Bir" (her new favorite word, besides "go go"). To my surprise she didn't squirm at all. We just cuddled and warmed up. I even waited an extra minute to continue enjoying the experience. Soon she'll be too big for things like that. Bittersweet sigh!

Also, N made her a toaster waffle this morning (she got up early, ugh!) and when it popped up from the toaster, she said "Uh oh". Just so cute and funny.

My e-mail signature was:

--
Buffy: Does it ever get easy?
Giles: Yes, it's terribly simple. The good guys are always stalwart and true, the bad guys are easily distinguished by their pointy horns or black hats, and we always defeat them and save the day. No one ever dies, and everybody lives happily ever after.
Buffy: Liar.

Today, Feb. 2012, I have a 17mo old sweetheart who is a great sleeper and loves to chew on her shoes. I have a bright, beautiful 5yo who lives with zest and still doesn't like to sleep. I drop-off/pick-up the kids and Bit has just started helping me make dinner. I am 31 and N is 34.

Life according to g-cal: we are too busy with dr appts, date night, and 2 active kids to watch much TV (but let's not overlook the brilliant happiness of Roku technology!). We no longer have our carseats professionally installed/inspected. Overnights at GranB's (for the kids) are commonplace! We've been homeowners for 4 years. Sadly I don't talk to my college friends much, but I have developed some great mom-friendships. I have stopped gaming more or less and have been using Emeals and Pintrest for meal planning. I gained some weight at the end of 2011, but still weigh less than 180! I have been out of the 200's since 2007, not counting pregnancy. I am hoping to celebrate my grandma's 90th birthday with her next year, though it will require traveling this time around.

On 2/29/12, I wrote this story about Bit (heart-melting):

Here's a cute story from last week: I was in the car with Violet and we were listening to Allison Krauss's cover of "Baby Mine" (a song about loving your baby from the Disney movie Dumbo). Bit was really quiet, then I heard a sniffle. I realized she was crying...tears running down her cheeks! I worried that I had upset her or she was thinking about her mommy (since the song is sung by a mom to her baby). But no...I held her and talked to her and found out she was crying thinking about her baby sister and how sad she'd be if something ever happened to her. Isn't that just so precious??

My e-mail signature is:

--

"A goal without a plan is just a wish."

Antoine de Saint-Exupery
French writer (1900 - 1944)

Feb 2016: Who knows?

I will be 35; N will be 38; Bit will be 9; Newb will be 5. The girls will both be in elementary school, which hopefully they will enjoy. I hope N and I will both still work at places we enjoy. I hope I will have maintained my weight at a healthy level for several year. And we ought to be out of debt or close to it. I'm sure there will be changes I can't even fathom...I pray there won't be any grief or loss, but those things are inevitable in life. I just hope for the best and pray for the strength to rise to the challenges put forth to me.

Weight loss goals

Weigh in... 176
What is your:
Goal by Easter... 169
Goal by July 4th... 165
Goal by Halloween... maintain or 161
Goal by Dec. 31st.... less than 2 lb gain and keep up exercise

I went to the gym last night, despite my broken toe. It's been 3 weeks or so, time to stop being lazy. I did the bike for 30 (only 100 cal burned, wtf?) and did some weight lifting. The gym scale didn't like me though...176. =(

Oh well... time to get serious again. And stop eating so much junk!

Yikes!

I have a really busy month coming at work--I have to change my workout schedule as a result. I need to commit to an altered schedule.

Stick with it

I thought I'd just share this little tidbit I wrote to encourage a friend of mine (If this does not apply to you, move on--but I think it applies to many areas of life):

I have really struggled with food since Christmas, but overall I have lost weight!

I have learned this: life is hard! And Weight Watchers(WW) is a lifestyle--that means there will be times when food is not my focus. Sometimes my life/family/work/etc demand my attention and I have to accept that the food might slide a little--as long as I'm still aware of what I'm eating and I intend to get back on track, I've found that I do eventually get back there! Small scale--I gained 1 lb a few weeks ago...now I'm down 5 lbs! Because I stuck with it. Large scale--I joined WW in 2002 (yikes 9 years ago!) at 279...I plateaued, and quit and rejoined, but certain lifestyle changes stuck with me, so I never gained it all back. Since 2007 I've only been over 200 lbs due to pregnancy and I'm still amazed at the healthy lifestyle WW has given me. I'm so grateful and happy to have found my own inner strength--but that certainly does NOT mean I don't have hard periods where my food is out of control. So, bottom line, stick with it, baby!

2011 Resolutions & Lookback

Here are the resolutions I put forth in 2009:

1. Organize/declutter. The continuing saga...
   
2. Set up our wills and a college fund. Holy cow! I still haven't done this!!
   
3. Paint the inside of my house. The continuing saga...
4. Landscape the front. Done!
5. Do some bathroom fix-ups. Finally got the tub refinished last Sept!
   
6. Work on my stress management. Well under way
   
7. Continue meal planning/exercise/improved nutrition. The continuing saga...
8. Save money. The continuing saga...
9. Get pregnant. Done!
10. Work on my photo archive project. The continuing saga...

So, I completed 2 of the 10 (20%) and made headway on 70% of the items. Only 1 hasn't been touched in 2 years, yikes!

So here are updated goals for 2011 (2011!?):

1. Organize/declutter.
   
2. Set up our wills by 1/31 and a college fund by 3/31.
   
3. Paint the inside of my house. Hopefully we can get a home loan and (hire someone to) do some improvement projects.
   
4. Complete "Couch to 5K" and do a 5K
5. Reach my goal weight and get free WW
   
6. Continue meal planning/exercise/improved nutrition.
7. Save money.
8. Send photos for scanning (already half paid for)

o hai

I have been incredibly busy--which is not surprising for a mom of 2 with a full-time job and myriad other responsibilities, not to mention a semi-active social life. The holidays were hectic, but enjoyable. My poor N is just glad they're over so things can get back to normal.

I have made several resolutions, among them getting back to my goal weight (and free Lifetime member status with WW) and making sure I include N in my planning of our lives. I'd also like to work on our debt and do some work on the house if we can get a loan.

I started the Couch to 5K program today and it was tough! But I kept thinking, I want to run a 5K when I'm 30 (which I am until September) and show my kids how they can live a healthy, active lifestyle. The most important thing I learned on this first 29 degree run...wear gloves! Wish me luck as I continue the program!

2009 Resolutions: Update

It's hard to believe the year is 3/4 over! 2009 hasn't turned out quite how I pictured it in January. Let's look at where I am on my resolutions...

1. Organize/declutter... It will always be an ongoing process, but I'm on a roll currently: collecting donations for a big run at the end of the month. Also we got rid of the chaise we weren't really using, yay!

2. Set up our wills and a college fund... We finished the questionnaire for the wills, we just need someone to actually do them. I set up a CD for Bit's college money. I figure we will wait until we're ready to set up 2 different 529's to do that part.

3. Paint the inside of my house...We have painted our bedroom and the front hall, yay! Now we need to do the stairway, upstairs hall, and spare room before I think about colors for the rest of the house (kitchen/dining room, bathrooms).

4. Landscape the front...We did this! It's been harder to maintain than I would like, but I think it looks better than before, so better than nothing! I'm planning to pick up a couple of mums today and hope they do well for the fall (just keeping them in their pots, not planting).

5. Do some bathroom fix-ups... We still need to fix Bit's bathtub, but I'm loathe to do it. It seems like it can wait. We also need a new toilet in her bathroom eventually. The tile in both showers could stand to be replaced, and the downstairs half bath is laid out badly, but I'm not sure when I can picture us doing any major work on the bathrooms.

6. Work on my stress management... I'm seeing a counselor, and I think it really helps. And Violet just had her first sleepover at GranB's in 22 months. I hope this is the beginning of a 3-6 times a year event.

7. Continue meal planning... I've actually backed off of this in the interest of more down time with N. Now that we use Let's Dish regularly, I don't have to plan more than a day or two ahead.

8. Save money... I got Lifetime status at WW, now I just need to get back to it! I set up some automatic savings this weekend. Our money is tight and we have debt (credit, car, school), but I need to feel like I'm being more forward thinking and responsible. Plus I want to save up for a new kitchen now that I have a ballpark estimate.

9. Get pregnant... Obvious set-backs. I just pray it's in the cards for our future. In the meantime I feel a fresh commitment to enjoy the family I have now. I'm determined to fight my depression tooth and nail.

10. Work on my photo archive project... I finally addressed the pile of photos from Mary and dealt with it all in a day! So that's progress. I need to start the external hard drive back-up and scan my backlog of pictures. Slow progress and that's OK with me.

A Girls' Night Out

My mom has gotten some scary medical news recently, so we have been talking alot. She just rejoined Weight Watchers and is all fired up to make her success last this time. I am 100% behind her because I know the program works. It worked for me. I lost over 100 lbs. and I'm keeping it off!

So I suggested that I meet her for her weekly meeting and we have dinner together afterward. I could tell she was excited by the tone in her voice. I was excited, too. Once I found the center, the meeting was good. I bought a few treats and shared a little of my story. I got 2 star "Bravo" stickers and a free "Lose for Good" tote bag for my trouble. It was great! It actually inspired me to go to meetings again on my own.

Then Mom and I had a lovely dinner at Applebees (with their WW friendly menu) and we chatted for what seemed like hours. I can't wait to do it again next month!

Struggles

Since the week's big story is still brewing, I thought I would get back to posting about my dietary struggles. I say "diet" in that what you consume daily is your "diet." Not that I am on some kind of fad diet.

I am however following Weight Watchers Flex plan, which helps me keep track of how much I've consumed. You'd be surprised how quickly you forget what you've eaten when you're not journaling. Weekends are tough because I'm out and not near my computer to log my intake. But I do make an effort to get on and do it once I'm home.

This week has been stressful, so I have been overeating. I have struggled with emotional eating and stress eating for as long as I can remember. It's very difficult because most of it socially acceptable behavior (unlike other addictions).

Oh well...one day at a time. The important thing I've learned is to not let the mistakes of one meal or one day ruin a whole week of effort. I've been getting alot more exercise lately and that should count for something!

What Not to Wear: My Style!

Since losing over 60 lbs. in the two years, I have found myself sorely lacking in wardrobe. My clothes are way too big and it's just as depressing as the opposite problem (contrary to popular belief). For my birthday, I finally made major strides toward remedying my clothing situation. It was very intimidating at first because my bottom is still big (and curvy) enough that I can shop at my old standby: Lane Bryant (plus size clothing). Totally in my comfort zone. But my top has shrunk so much that I can't fit into the smallest size at that store.

You're probably wondering what the problem is, but you see, I've never in my life had to (been able to) shop at a "regular" clothing store, so I have no idea what my style is or where I "want" to shop! Despite my teenage disdain for trendy clothing and stores, today I finally broke down and visited Old Navy. I have to blame my addiction to TLC's What Not to Wear for what happened next...I loved it! Not only was it a rush to be wearing XL and L tops (depending on the style), but I also enjoyed the selection and challenge of learning how to layer, etc. Shopping was exhausting, which is why I do it in bursts like this.

The photo-shoot, however, is highly unprecedented. I'm just so glad to be getting rid of shirts that I hate and having shiny new digs, that I had to mark the occasion. Check it out!

Teaser image (click for "remix" slideshow):


(Disclaimer: My husband, I love him, but he's not a great photographer! And I'm too tired to edit the photos anymore...)

Weight Loss: Rewards & Goals

The theme this week seems to be weight loss. So in anticipation of finally losing some more weight, I thought I'd outline some goals and rewards.

Rewards
1. Buy some WW snacks (expensive)
2. Buy a food processor (particularly for trying out Hungry Girl's faux fried dishes)

Goals
1. Make a more WW-friendly meal plan
2. Cook ahead on the weekend
3. Make my own snack packs (entails buying more gladware and planning)

I have to avoid those 100 calorie packs because I eat too many mindlessly. Fie!

Manic Monday

I've got to go get the Bit from daycare, but I thought I'd jot down today's challenge:

My eating is out of control, which sucks. I've been struggling to get below 180 on the scale for months now. I've resisted going back to Weight Watchers because I'm sick of food journaling.

However, they're running a campaign where they'll donate food to the hungry for every pound lost. So that was the catalyst for me to re-join (yet again). I really hope I can maintain the accountability and actually take some weight off over the next 3 months.

Here's to less of me!

Fortunate Events

I was about to walk across the street and get something bad for me for an afternoon pick-me-up, when one of my coworkers stopped to compliment me on my weight loss. She rarely speaks to me, so it was nice to hear something so positive from her. And after that how could I possibly go buy junk? But I wanted to got over there anyway, so I just got my diet coke and came back. I'm still hungry, but I can dig up a low fat snack at my desk. ^_^

There's something I need to tell myself:

You do not weigh 200 lbs. Your weight starts with a 1. You are not 200 lbs anymore!

I literally keep forgetting this...

And just something I wanted to write, not really a poem:

Today I went for a walk.
It inspired me to take my family on a picnic.
It inspired me to play a romantic song for my husband, perhaps over dinner for two.
It was nice to just wander through my thoughts without the confines of walls around me.
To feel the warmth on my skin and the breeze in my hair.
Walks are for love and family and thoughts.
Most of all, they are for me and I am for them.